


Bagel

by AlexNow



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Ryan's sexually confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexNow/pseuds/AlexNow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">Brendon feels rather lonely and broken, suffering from his best friend's harsh words. Will Ryan ever accept his sexuality? His words rang in his ear as a tear ran down his face and reached for the knife.</span>
  <br/>
  <i>'Our kisses mean nothing.'</i>
</p><p>
  <b>-ON HIATUS-</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Dude. Shit, I'm sorry but I can't go anymore. My parents are going out to dinner to celebrate their anniversary and they're leaving me to babysit my sister. I would take her with me but you know how much of a big-mouth she is and my parents aren't letting me out of the damn house. Amber would surely tell them if I left."

Brendon glared at the tree in front of him, pretending it was his friend.

"What the hell, Jon! I'm already here and I really want my food." He responded. Jon didn't reply for a few moments.

"You can still eat without me, you know." Jon dared to say.

"I don't want to look like a friendless loser." Brendon grumbled as he began walking around the city park, which was completely full.

"That wouldn't be giving people a wrong impression of you."

"Shut up, Walker!" Brendon snapped. Jon sighed.

Brendon had been waiting for Jon to arrive for ten minutes, which to him was an eternity. He didn't eat in the morning and he was starving for a snack, the whole reason he was meeting Jon today. Suddenly, he heard screams in the background.

"Amber's yelling, got to go. Bye, Brendon. And sorry." The annoying beep sounded through Brendon's iPhone and he huffed in irritation, muttering profanes on Jon.

"White mocha. Venti," Brendon said in a monotone. His eyes wandered down to the glass window, "With a bagel." The fake blonde behind the counter batted her plastic long eyelashes at him.

"Anything else?" She asked in a voice Brendon figured was supposed to be seductive. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes, giving her the money.

"Thank you, but no." He responded solemnly. It took everything in him not to tell her to go to a doctor to check her eye if she kept on batting her eyelashes at him like that. She scoffed and retrieved to make his drink.

After she was done she handed him his drink with his bagel in a brown bag. Brendon muttered a quick 'Thank You' and sat in one of the seats. He quickly chugged down his Mocha and threw the container in the trash can, exiting without a glance back, his warm bagel in his hand.

"Fuck this," Brendon muttered as he walked out, "I want my ice-cream."

"Great. Just fucking great." Brendon said loudly, his voice heavy with sarcasm as he entered the city's local ice-cream parlor and he noticed a very long line of people.

Some people turned around and glared at him, others ignored him.

Brendon sighed. He really wanted his ice-cream to eat with his not-so-warm-anymore bagel. But he was to wait in line.

Just like everybody else.

"Hello. Welcome to -. How may I help you?" Brendon was greeted with a tired voice. He glared at the boy behind the counter. He was the last one in line.

"I've been waiting for 20 fucking minutes for an ice-cream I've been craving for since yesterday and you just fucking stand there and ask me how you could help me? I want you to give me my mint chocolate chip cone showered with Oreo please." Brendon practically yelled. The boy pursed his lips and stared at Brendon, very little surprise shown in his eyes.

"On your way." He said with a sigh.

They just stood there for a couple of minutes, Brendon glaring at the boy and they boy simply staring back.

It was 5 minutes later when a girl around their age walked in with Brendon's ice-cream in hand. Brendon swapped it and after paying the boy hastily, stopped to one of the tables and began enjoying his ice-cream. The boy rolled his eyes.

"Asshole." He muttered.

"We cool?" Jon asked, his voice muffled by what Brendon guessed was Amber's stuffed animal, judging by close giggles in the background. Her little tiger had been named 'Jony' by her, and Jon didn't know if he should have felt pleased or offended.

"I guess," Brendon shrugged even though Jon couldn't see him, "How about Friday we go to the fair. It's boring and annoying not having anything to do the whole week before school starts."

"I don't know, Bren," Brendon could imagine Jon scratching the back of his head, "I think my dad's shift is all day on Friday and my mom has to go to her friend's or something." Brendon sighed.

"Alright. Bye, Jon." Brendon said and he didn't wait for a response, just hung up.

Suddenly, Brendon heard whispers and giggles and turned his head to find a table full of jocks and cheerleader-whores of his school. But he didn't know much, considering his was new to the whole state.

"Here he comes." One of the guys whispered, leaning in to the middle of the table so the so-said person, 'he', didn't hear. A fake redhead giggled and clings to his arm like if her life depended on it, her long fake nails nearly digging into his skin, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Trip him." Another guy said. The jock smirked.

Brendon didn't catch to see the face of the loser they were picking on because all of a sudden two hands were being slammed on his table to keep balance. The whole table aside of him laughed.

"Nice one, Ross." The jock snorted.

"How 'bout you learn about coordination and balance before you learn how to walk, idiot." His friend added. The cheerleaders laughed.

'Ross' didn't respond and didn't even glance at them. No attempt to defend himself. He just pressed his lips in a thin line and stared at the floor, his hair covering his face. Brendon sighed.

If Ross couldn't defend himself someone had to do it for him.

Brendon stood up and glared at the group that were still in a burst of laughter. Suddenly one of the guys noticed him and he instantly quieted down. Brendon could intimidate whoever he wanted whenever.

"Are you done?" He asked. The laughter died down.

"Well?" Brendon asked again, his eyebrows raised, "'Cause if you expect to be a bunch of cowards I suggest you look somewhere else." He said through his gritted teeth, and he was only starting. Ross just stared at the floor beside him, his bangs still hiding his true self, as if ashamed of who he was. This made Brendon madder.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to act like that? Assholes, get some fucking dignity and leave before I make sure you make it to the hospital." He practically spit out, his face calm but his voice vibrating with fury. The jock stood up, his size twice of Brendon's, but Brendon stayed as confident.

"Look, I take no shit from anyone and I certainly won't take any from you so why don't you just shut up and le-"

"I'll keep that in mind." Brendon interrupted him. The redhead rolled her eyes.

"Ty, just leave him alone. He's just being an asshole and trying to make you angry." She whined, desperately trying to grab his attention. Brendon smirked and winked at her, making sure Tyler caught the move.

"Only for you, darling." He responded.

Tyler seemed to explode and his face turned a deep red, but just as he was about to lunge on Brendon his friends stood up and held him back.

"Let me go," He growled, "I want to teach this motherf-" He was cut off by his girlfriend.

"Tyler." She hissed.

Brendon narrowed his eyes at him and began walking towards him, ready to throw a punch but a hand stopped him. He turned around and his eyes were met with hazel ones. Brendon stood awe-struck, lost in those beautiful eyes and Ross' features. All he could do was nod.

Ross smiled, a gesture barely noticeable, and without another word he grabbed Brendon by the wrist, beginning to haul Brendon out of the store but Brendon pulled his arm back. Ross turned around, his eyes full with confusion. Brendon grinned.

"My food." He responded. He grabbed his cold bagel and his melting ice-cream. Ross rolled his eyes and quickly pulled him out and back to the park.

They walked in silence in the edges of the green park and while Ross wasn't really thinking in anything, Brendon watched him from the corner of his eye.

Brendon couldn't deny it. Ross was perfect.

"Do they always pick on you like that?" Brendon found himself asking. Ross sighed and kept staring at the floor as they kept on walking, his hands buried into his hoddie pockets.

"Since day one." He responded. Brendon nodded slowly.

"And you never do anything about it?" He questioned as calmly as he could. Ross shrugged.

"There's nothing to do." He replied with a sigh. Brendon clenched his jaw.

"There's plenty to do, Ross." He snapped. Ross tensed.

"Don't call me that." He said. Brendon's eyebrows furrowed and fully turned towards him, who was frozen in place. Brendon's anger suddenly forgotten.

"That's not your name?" He asked. Ross grimaced.

"No."

Brendon opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Oh. Is it your nickname?" He finally asked, cocking his head to one side. Ross scratched the back of his neck.

"Not exactly." He replied. Brendon frowned.

"Oh?" Was all he got out. Ross sighed.

"It's my last name, actually. Ryan Ross." He clarified. Brendon smiled and led him to a lonely bench seated under a line of trees. They sat down and Brendon began eating his ice-cream again.

"Ryan?" He asked. Ryan stared at him.

"Yeah?" He asked. Brendon grinned, something that always made woman –and a couple of times, men- stop in their tracks and stare. Ryan seemed unaffected.

"Sorry." Brendon apologized. Ryan shrugged and without asking took a piece out of Brendon's untouched bagel.

"Sorry for calling you an asshole." He responded, feeling as if he had to apologize for something as well. Brendon frowned and watched as Ryan stuffed the piece of bagel into his mouth and slowly start chewing.

"You called me an asshole?" He asked, taking a piece of Oreo in his mouth. Ryan swallowed his food and nodded.

"When you were buying your mint chocolate chip." He responded. Brendon's eyebrows furrowed.

"There was no one behind me." He said. Ryan frowned.

"I was behind the counter." He said. Brendon's eyes widened.

"Huh?!" He hummed, his tone anxious. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"You'd be surprised with what a stupid milkman uniform and a hat could do to make me look like a random idiot." He said with a huff. Brendon laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

"Sorry. I-I was in a bad mood." He said, his eyes trailing to the floor, but Ryan's laugh pulled his eyes back up to meet with Ryan's.

"Yeah, I think I noticed."


	2. Chapter 2

Four Months Later

Urie Residence

Brendon was woken by the sound of a groan and he himself let out a whine of protest as he felt a hand push down on his stomach. He finally cracked his eyes opened and looked around to see it was all dark, meaning it was still night-time. Brendon's clock flashed 3:13 in big red numbers.

He suddenly remembered of the sleepover he had with his friend last night and looked over aside of him to see a head with disheveled caramel hair. The head turned around towards Brendon and he noticed it looked anxious.

The sleeping figure panted out loudly and even moaned a couple of times. His cheeks were flushed and his wavy hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. Brendon stared at him with wide eyes and wondered if he was having a bad nightmare or maybe-

Ryan suddenly pushed himself against Brendon's side and Brendon gasped as he felt Ryan's clear erection. Fuck. It all came in realization to Brendon as he felt the semi-hard cock against his bare thigh since he slept in only boxers. Holy shit, Ryan was having a wet dream.

Brendon suddenly became hard as he comprehended there was only a thin layer of cloth between him and Ryan Ross' penis. Ohmygod. When did I get so freaking lucky?

Brendon stared at him, unsure. "Ry-"

Ryan's eyes shot open and over the dim moonlight Brendon could see his eyes beginning to focus and register Brendon's confused face. Ryan didn't think twice before he was lunging at Brendon and feverishly kissing Brendon's lips.

Brendon kissed back not even a second after and soon Ryan was on top of him with each of his legs on either side of Brendon. Ryan lied his elbows aside of Brendon's head and rubbed his cock against Brendon's own hard one.

"Fuck, Ryan." Brendon pulled away slightly to say. Ryan continued panting.

"Shut up." He said and took Brendon's lips into his own again. Ryan made sure their tongues met and soon Brendon felt Ryan's move across the roof of his mouth. Ever so slowly Ryan moved one of his hands down Brendon's side and gradually moved it across Brendon's thigh before palming him through Brendon's boxers.

Brendon moaned extremely loudly into Ryan mouth and even louder as Ryan sucked on his tongue, taking no mercy or even caring about the neighbors. They were lucky Brendon's parents were out of town.

Shit. Brendon thought as Ryan moved his hand under Brendon's waistband and disappeared into his boxer shorts. Ryan's magical long fingers wrapped around his dick and began pumping it up and down, his mouth still working on Brendon.

"Ryan, faster." Brendon whined. Ryan didn't reply but did what he was told, thrusting at a faster pace.

It wasn't long before Brendon came into Ryan hand, covering it with his cum and moaning Ryan name in pleasure. Ryan smirked and removed his hand from Brendon's boxers, completely ignoring the cum, and fell beside Brendon on the bed. He threw his hand down his own boxers and began working on his rock hard cock, Brendon getting aroused at just the look of Ryan jerking off. Ryan's head was thrown back and his breathing quickened. Ryan didn't last and moaned Brendon's name, obviously thinking of him as he came. He wiped his hand on the bed sheets. Brendon didn't complain, couldn't complain as Ryan once again threw himself on Brendon.

Both boys were pathetically hard again and Ryan's hands were currently working on sliding Brendon's boxers off completely and reaching for a condom when-

It all hit Brendon. What, how, when…why?

He threw Ryan off of him and glared at him with obvious hate in his eyes.

"What?" Ryan asked while seeming annoyed. He crossed his arms across his chest and stared at Brendon with an eyebrow raised, waiting.

"What the fuck, Ryan!" Brendon yelled. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Don't say you didn't like it."

Brendon growled out of frustration and slammed his hand into the wall aside of him. "That's the fucking problem. You know I'd like it and you use it against me." Brendon snapped. Ryan frowned.

"I'm not using it against you."

"Obviously not," Brendon shouted sarcastically, "I hate to know you're using me, Ryan! Okay? You're fucking using me!"

Ryan shook his head. "I'm not if you know and let me."

"I have no choice. You know what I think about you. You know I fucking like you much more than a friend and yet you don't do anything about it!" Brendon was glaring at Ryan so hatefully, Ryan flinched.

"I was going to." Ryan responded, talking about the condom he was going to use.

"That's not the point."

Ryan got up on his feet to Brendon's level with narrowed eyes. "You know I don't like you back."

"You could!" Brendon was pleading now, his eyes threatening to fill with tears, "Ryan, you could give me a shot. I swear I'd love you forever and give you all I could!"

Ryan scoffed and turned away. "No. You can't. I wouldn't be happy." He said. Brendon's eyes widened and he took a step back, seeming as if he had just gotten slapped.

"I could make you happy." He whispered. Ryan grimaced.

"No, you can't. It just isn't possible."

"So you just use me when Keltie isn't here to satisfy you, right?" Brendon snapped, "Not letting her know you're with another guy!"

"I'm not with another guy! I'm just fucking around with you!" Ryan was too shouting now, "I'm straight, Brendon. Get over it. I'm not gay like you are! I only love Keltie and always will!"

A bitter laugh escaped Brendon's mouth and he turned away. "Right. And any straight guy goes giving other gay guys hand jobs and fucks them while they're apparently in love with another woman."

Ryan snorts and calmly falls to sit on Brendon's bed. "Our kisses mean nothing."

Brendon's eyes widened and he tried to hide the fact that his bottom lip had started trembling, backing away. He ran out of his room without another word and slammed the door behind him.

X-X-X

Spencer was looking far away when Ryan arrived at school two days later. He hadn't heard of Brendon since, for which he was thankful. He didn't need any more drama.

"What's up?" Ryan asked as he leaned on the locker next to his friend's. Spencer seemed to snap out of his gaze.

"You didn't hear?" Spencer whispered. Ryan immediately grew worried. Spencer Smith never seemed like anyone but his confident self, bitch face on whenever others were near.

"What happened?" He questioned, eating some of his chips. Spencer stared at the ground.

"It's Brendon, Ryan. I thought you would have known since you were at his house. He attempted suicide. His parents sent him to psychiatric ward. They said he was crazy."

Ryan's eyes widened and took the time to take this all in. Spencer was staring at him through his eyelashes as his face still faced the ground. He ran to his car without another word again.

It didn't matter if he had to do something stupid for his parents to send him there too. He had to see Brendon and tell him the truth of his sexuality.

Though he had a feeling Brendon wouldn't come running into his arms this time.


End file.
